6.1.14

In response to an Outpouring of Love...




To be completely honest, this time last night I was tortured by the idea of our horror story spreading throughout social media. It was so surreal, so devastating that what I was feeling seemed too personal for Facebook. No status or wallpost could rightly capture the beauty that was my baby sister or actually describe the impact of her being gone. I dreaded the moment the news would seep onto my page. I knew once it happened, it would spread exponentially. There was no taking it back.



In retrospect, I don’t know why I was so concerned about stopping time in that moment before everyone knew. What did it matter when the moment that really mattered, the one that changed everything, had already passed?

I would not wish the past 24 hours or what inevitably follows from here on anyone. This is the beginning of what will likely be one of the hardest times of my life. But I will say this: Social media ended up bringing me, not the torture I’d anticipated, but a small dose of comfort. In a time where I am much too far away from the people who I need and who need me most, it brought me a bit closer. Pictures slowly started appearing as people’s profiles. People from everywhere that know me personally and others I’ve never met started sharing stories. More people than I could ever hope to thank individually offered their sympathies.

None of this keeps me from breaking down with each flicker of a Stephanie-memory and each phone call with my parents or middle sister. But it does remind me that I’m not alone. Even though it might feel like I am from a geographical standpoint, I’m not. And, until everything is sorted and I can get to my family, I will be grateful for that. Thank you from the very bottom of my broken heart for thinking of me and my family. And, most importantly, for thinking of Stephanie.

6 comments:

  1. Lovely. Just pure lovely. You have many people around you with arms wide open. You will reach out and lean on them. Just as others will lean on you when they someday will need to do the same cuz. Love you and the rest of the family...

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  2. Beautifully Written Sarah and you are not alone ! We are all here for you shedding a tear or seeking comfort in the memories we have or the pictures you are sharing... even someone like me who did not know you personally or wasnt close to you or never got to know your sister is here wishing there was something we could do to take away some of the pain and loss you feel or even just to find the words to comfort you in any way ! <3 She was a beautiful young girl and she will be looking over you and your family Prayers O:)

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  3. Sarah, your going to feel every kind of emotion but you will find your own way to heal your broken heart in time. This is so surreal to everyone that is showing their support, whether it's through the social media or phone calls, we all are here for you. Our words will never describe the sadness we have for you and your family. Your blog is beautiful and shows your pain, no one will ever feel what you feel in this very moment. Know all our hearts are broken and we all are praying for strength and peace for you and your family. You truly do have a beautiful angel looking over you! Sending a big hug to you sweetie xo

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  4. Sarah, many hearts are broken by the lost of your sister Stephanie specially your mom, dad your sisters and you....we don't know why things like this happen. I will be praying for all of you. Please take care. hugs and kisses

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  5. Sarah, again I am so sorry to hear the news of Steph. I know it has been years since we've all hung out together, but all I can do is picture Theresa, you and myself playing at your house outside and little Steph chasing us around. Or at those softball games and your dad chasing her around. I know all the words people are saying will not take the pain away from you and your family, but just remember that you all still have each other and time will heal each of you individually. I wish I could take the pain from all of you. Stephanie grew up to be a fine young lady and beautiful soul that has touched many people. We all now have a beautiful angel watching over us. <3<3<3 Feel free to get in touch if you need someone to talk to.

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  6. Beautifully written. You have so much support from friends, family, acquaintances, and everyone will continue to get you through this time. I know its been said before, by almost everyone, but if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask. <3

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